What is work again? I have forgotten.

The tour ends next week. Very sad. Back to the realities of living and working...
But I am excited as well. Living in a big old cosmopolitan city like London should be just fantabulous.

So where have I been since last time... Well my previous post won't load so I am guessing Dubrovnik was the last place.

OK... right it will be Hungary then. We went to Budapest which is very, very cool. Like a little mini Paris. We went on a night cruise which took us along the Danube with all the major buildings and monuments lit up. Awesome.

Now we are in Vienna which is quite similar. Went on a horse and carriage ride and a Mozart concert last night...

Basically life is slowing down. Everyone is so completely shot it is harilious.

- So far we have broken every single campground noise cerfew and almost got arrested last night..
- The tour really is ending with a bang. Swiss alps, beer fest, amsterdam... Should be epic.
- If I could sleep for a week right now, I would.

Sorry thats all I have the energy for right now. More churches etc beckon once more.

Did you know Vienna smells like the last bit of triple action toothpaste stuck to a carrot? Weird but true.

Anyone have any spare cough syrup?

Well, I told you I would have some stories to tell...

The first thing we did when we entered Turkey was to visit Gallipoli.
The experience there was quite unlike anything so far. As you can imagine, the place is just the most insane rugged coastline. All around are dotted monuments and cemeteries, but it is all very understated and simple. Essentially you can feel the history of the place around you. The wind was howling and everything echoed to the sounds of flags and the sea.

Everyone could sense the memories of the soldiers around then and the ANZAC spirit was suddenly very real.

Coolness basically.

Then we were off to Troie (Troy). It wasn't disappointed, but it was hardly amazing either. The mix of history and legend was fascinating, but for once I couldn't really connect what I was seeing to the history I knew was behind it. And it was very small and unassuming. Yet another once in a lifetime experience though.

Off to Istanbul then. We visited a couple of palaces and then went to a Turkish bath. If having a huge Turkish man twisting and stretching me beyond recognition doesn't sound like a barrel of laughs.... well it wasn't that traumatic.... Then I had a shave and haircut that took and hour and was the most bizarrely intricate grooming experience I have ever endured! It featured a lighter burning hairs off my ears.

Next was Bulgaria, Macedonia and Albania. I knew we were going to go to some “tricky” countries, but oh my god.... Albania in particular was madness. If I said Kavala was Mexico, well Albania was probably India. The whole place was incredibly run down with broken streets, decrepit buildings, animals being slaughtered on the street... Everything. We saw a cow being put into a taxi. What made it worse was Willem (one of the South African guys) was denied entry and have to fly around to Croatia. Then we got to the “resort” we were staying to be met with a thunderstorm and leaky rooms. Thank god it was a tent-less night.

That night we also went to the resort disco and partied with.... wait for it... about a dozen paraplegic Albanians in wheelchairs. If I have a more bizarre experience in my life I will be very, very surprised. And it was also one of the Emmas 25th birthday. A story for the grandchildren.

And now we are in Croatia - Dubrovnik actually. The feeling of being back in civilisation is such a relief. Hot showers and seated toilets are an indescribable luxury. Just about to wander around Dubrovnik now – it is a tiny little walled city with a similar feel to Venice so that should be cool.

Random thoughts:
- I never once ate Turkey whilst in Turkey which was a huge disappointment. I did, however have Turka Cola.
- I never, ever, ever, want to have diahrea in Albania ever again. Ever.
- The toilet facilities found on most national borders must verge on acts of terrorism.
- Kirsty - when is a good time to call you on your birthday? I am going to try - depends on when we are traveling. Text me the answer!
- About half of the worlds artifacts have been stolen by the British Museum, and as a result there are a lot of very pissed off local tour guides out there.
- For some reason there is almost constant lightening every night in the Balkans. Why?!!!? I have become convinced it is actually some form of shelling from Serbia.
- Have you ever had lunch at an Irish pub in Macedonia where they could hardly even speak English? I have!

This is so fun! So many memories already...
I hope everyone has the best ever presents for Kirsty!

And yes, Albania does smell like a dead whale that has been eating too much garlic. And for once I didn't make that up.

Hey Mindy and Kirsty - if either of you wants cornflakes or homeless guys to eat in the morning, just come to me. I have heaps of both that I picked up in a nice place in Albania. No shortage of scabies. Or gypsy babies.

Still no Turkey though.

We're not in Toto any more Kansas

Well tomorrow we enter Turkey.
This is the first part of the trip where things get a bit hairy.

Like we will probably be searched at the border, need visas etc.
Except me! Everyone loves a New Zealander. The South Africans needed to buy about 400 pounds worth of visas and we need nothing... It is fun being from a friendly country.

Today I am in Kavala. So far the most notable thing has been that it looks like what I imagine Mexico to look and I passed a dead cat on the way to this internet cafe. The other guys in the cafe have mullets. I think hicksville Greece probably sums it up.

I am almost half way through the trip, which is kind of exciting and sad too. Heaps to go, with lots of really interesting stuff. I have no idea what to expect from the eastern block countries, so I am hoping for loads of cool surprises.

Yesterday we visted Athens and saw the Parthenon (not to be confused with the Panthenon in Rome) at Acropolis and Zeus's Temple etc. They aren't exactly spectacular, but it is hard to escape from the fact those places are thousands of years old and there they are standing right in from of you and will probably stay standing there for another thousand years.

Nothing much else to report. I should have lots more stories in the next few weeks...

Jasu!

I'm hotter than a hamster in a blender

Hello everyone from sunny Corfu.
It is hot in Corfu, which is of course a good thing even though I smell a bit like a dead horse.

Firstly, thanks heaps for all the messages and emails... I wish I could reply to each in person but I just don't have enough time! I only get about an hour every other day to get to the internet, so its not easy. But please keep sending them as it really is very cool to read them even if it feels like a one-way conversation.

OK.. I have photos! So stop bloody blubbing you bunch of complainers.
Its not easy uploading photos in Greek. Guessing what "rotate 90 degrees" means is no easy feat. In the end if was "jasdh^@*#@G". Greek, eh! What a strange language.

News..... Well I have of course travelled through Italy and am now in Greece. Which is lovely.
And I really like gyros which are little souvlaki type things.

Well, I hope you have enjoyed the photos because that is all I have time for. Sorry!

As for Corfu... it smells like 14 very small bananas in a pool of lime jelly.

Summertimegrrrrrrrrrrr

Can you believe it? Summertime by that Merck whatever band is our day song!
Bah! I almost screamed and jumped out the window of the bus.

I can here you laughing Kirsty, but its not funny. I think my life may be over.
Actually, well, I just sing along with everyone else, but I am hurting inside.

I am in Florence today. What a nice place! I love it.
What is it about Florence that makes it so nice? Did you like it Kirsty?

Oh my god, still no photos. I think I might tape a large sign to my entire body reminding myself to bring the cable. Lets face it, they are boring anyway. Except the ones of me up to no good.

Some highlights:
- There are gypsies everywhere and they are fun to ignore. We also learnt how to say "go away you dirty gypsy or I will break your little neck" in Italian.
- I saw the leaning tower of Pisa yesterday and frankly it looked straight to me. And only one story tall! Maybe it wasn't the leaning tower I saw then......
- European girls are so hot it is almost unbearable. But I will bear it like a man.
- People are getting stuff stolen, but only the girls. I think my careful possession protection plan is working. Cross fingers!
- Our group is starting to get all big brotherish, with people bitching about others and forming little cliques. Halarious! Let the voting begin. I reckon I would last for ages because my personaility is so neutral and inoffensive.
- The number of massive buildings made over hundreds of years by hundreds of labourers never fails to impress me. So much wealth in the hands of so few sure did make for so impressive symbols of personal ego.

And the rumours are true, Florence does smell like a new jigsaw puzzle on Christmas morning.