I LOVE SPAM!

Check this one out:

That role,apparently, was reserved for me. Therefore, they provednothing, one way or the other. Of course, they are uselessto them, as they do not trade. No, I dont, Zikali, I said, and was silent. Where,then, is this land, and how am I to reach it? Now I bethought me of what happened at Pompeii, and ceased to laugh. Inone sense, not at all, but in another, very much indeed. Did you chance to take refuge from that storm in a cave, Macumazahn? Instantly, as before, one of his servants appeared, to whom he gavecertain instructions. But were Ito do this, I should indeed be the first of fools. However hot the weather, he always kept that firegoing. Further, he will protect you fromdangers so far as he is able. It is wonderful, isnt it, that the poor OldCheat should know what you want? Somehow or other they remind me of rocks piled one on another as on amountain slope, and look! Who was it who first said that all men are fools? And if there were a Heu-Heu, did I wish to meet him face to face? Why will you always seek the aidof magic to explain natural things, Macumazahn? And if I cannot overthrow Heu-Heu, Zikali? Or possibly he had othermethods of obtaining information. Macumazahn,come and stand by me, and you, Yellow Man, turn your back so that youface the fire. Of course, those Kaffirs would havetold me about it, would they not? How, then, can you have the answer by to-morrow? I thought that you might like to know that,as you are curious on the point. Aye, there they sit, Macumazahn,to this day, turned to stone, and with them their dogs and cattle. And if so, what should I do with themaiden? Who was it who first said that all men are fools? Not thus do I communicate with those whoare afar. By the way, he wasnt killed either by lightning orby hail. Then they goaway and leave her alone, returning at sunrise. Why will you always seek the aidof magic to explain natural things, Macumazahn? I thought that you might like to know that,as you are curious on the point. You only come here whenyou want something from him whom once you named the Old Cheat. Then we turned the corner and came upon Zikalis kraal. And if there were a Heu-Heu, did I wish to meet him face to face? But that is an old story with which I will not trouble you. If I do not speak truth Iwill pay for the oxen myself. Look, Baas, whispered Hans in a frightened voice, his spiritscome, and he pointed upwards.


I mean that is just art, pure and simple.